A trip down memory lane....

I really wish I had a ghost writer to help me put my words down in a better way, but, I don't, so, here is me trying to communicate my feelings about an old friend.

I was cleaning out our crawl space for an upcoming garage sale and found some "memorabilia" from my youth/teenage years.

I lost a dear friend to a car accident when we were 15. He was my very first boyfriend.
I lived in my hometown then moved to a neighboring town and back when I was in 2nd grade came back my 3rd grade year. Does that make sense?


Him and another boy, Mike had a bet that whoever the new girl was, they would go out with them. Well, Kim came before me, so, she ended up being Mike's girlfriend. Then, I came and Chris and I became boyfriend/girlfriend.

Chris and I were boyfriend and girlfriend through part of 7th grade.

He was the very first boy I kissed. I think It was during the 6th grade. We were at a Basketball game at the HS and we went out by the evergreen tree and kissed each other. It was just a quick peck on the lips,  we thought it was great! :)

He gave me so many memories. He invited me to several Hockey games. His sister was a Lancer Girl, she danced for the nearby team. I will never forget the time that I went to a game with him and got the chance to go out on the ice and hit the puck for a chance at a prize. I had to hit it in the net, I missed it by several inches/feet. :) I was so shy and embarrassed, I did not want to do it, but, I did with lots of convincing from him and his mom.We would go out after the games with his sister and one of the players and have pizza. I had my first Hawaiian Pizza with them. I have loved it ever since.

I looked up to his sister so much. She was beautiful, confident, popular, etc... She attended a modeling school and I was invited to the graduation. It was so much fun. My mom made me wear a dress to the event, I did not want to wear one, cuz, I am not a dress girl. Thank God she did, I was so happy that I looked nice like all the other attendees. I had the best time.

I remember going to a couple bday parties and dancing with him. I remember his mom picking us up in her big green car and taking us to a classmates bday out in the country on a farm where I got to see for the first time inside a grain bin.

I rode my very first go-cart at his bday at Fun Plex. I was scared to death to get on it. I remember having a friend that was short and couldn't ride by herself, so, she got to ride with his mom (no fair). With a little bit of convincing, I finally got on the go-cart.....I didn't want to get off!

I remember spending countless hours on the phone talking to him. We would talk about our future, the house that we would live in, where we would go to college, what kind of cars we loved, what we would be when we "grew up". Scorpions, his uncle in AZ. We talked alot about his Uncle in AZ. All the weird stuff that happens while living out in the country. I am so thankful that my mom & dad let me talk to him like they did. They never cowed out that I had a boyfriend or that I was on the phone for hours at a time.

He gave me my very first gold chain, an i'd bracelet, a gumball machine. His family had a big one in their living room, I thought it was so neat. So, one year for my bday, he gave me a smaller gumball machine. I still have it. :)

He had a beautiful smile, with the most adorable dimples. Darker complexion, he was part Italian.

I'll never forget the time I was sitting in study hall and he came over an put someones wax from their braces in my hair. BRAT! He was so naughty at times. Could be a real stinker.
 
I will never forget all the older guys telling me how they were going to give him a hard time once he was in football with them in HS. I hated that they wanted to make him miserable. It hurt my feelings. Turns out, he was one of the best football players that our HS had ever seen. He had some serious speed. The boys all liked him once they saw how good he was for the team. They all became friends. They nicknamed him "Jar". His last name was that of a jar, Mason. Such a fitting nickname. LOL! 

I remember braking up with him. He was treating me badly, so, I broke it off. I don't remember all the details, but, I broke up with him cuz he was being a jerk. My mom remembers his mom and sister calling and wondering why I broke up with him. I don't even remember what he did to me that made me so mad at him. I remember being mad at him, but, not what he did! Probably a good thing.

I remember countless nights sitting on the front steps of my poorch and all the "guys" coming over to hang out and visit. We would be out their until the wee hours of the mornings sometimes. The other "girls" at school, really did not like me. I have NO idea why. I was pretty good friends with most of the "guys." Maybe, they were jealous. LOL! A lot of people didn't like me at my school. I don't know what I did to the majority of them, but, they hated me. Maybe it was cuz I was, "oh, I won't say it." lol! It isn't nice. Chris came a few times to visit, not as many as the other one did.

I will never forget them all hunting for the cats and immensely decreasing the cat population in our city.

I remember going to a homecoming dance with him, probably my freshman year in HS. We had a "real kiss" that night. ;)

Secretly, I really wanted to date him again, but, he started to date other girls in our class. I remember the night that I was going to tell him that I wanted to go out with him. I just couldn't do it. I was at a party and he came and I saw him across the room. I think we talked for a little bit. I remember getting ready to leave and I stopped and touched the back of a "friend." that was with Chris that night. I had to stop and look at him.

I will never forget my really close friend calling me the next morning and telling me that Chris & "so and so"  are dead. It was the most awful news ever! I was 15. I lost a friend. A really good friend. No 15 year old should have to lose their friend so young. I have decided to day that I am really pissed at God for doing that. It sucks! SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS! I hate that I was so young and had to experience the loss of a loved one. It truly made a mark on me. It has made me very fearful of life and losing loved one's and, just how precious our days are.

I have often wondered, today, if he were still alive, would we still be friends. I have become estranged from the majority of my high school class. I have hard feelings toward many of them. That is a story that I will save for another day. Would him and I still be friends, or, would we have gone our separate ways and never talked again after graduation! I don't know. I will never know!